The struggle for a child sometimes knows no limits. When the Swedish hospital closed the door, Monika Oscarsson, 44, and husband Andre, 47, realized that the only way out for them was to go to Russia and try their luck there.
Monika and Andre Oscarsson met already when they were young. At one point they worked at the same workplace, Nolato in Kristianstad. Even then, they knew that were in love, but none of them dared to take the first step. Many years later, their paths crossed again ... on Facebook. By that time, Monica had returned home from Stockholm, and Andre had divorced his wife, who gave birth to their daughter. It was Andre who accidentally discovered Monica’s Facebook profile and decided that he would certainly meet her and no more let her go.
The couple got engaged in Prague in 2013 and the next year they got married in the Vittskövle Church in the presence of family and friends. Even during the honeymoon, they did not stop dreaming about their child, about simple human happiness. But Monica was already 37 years old, and Andre was 40. They understood that they had very little time for children. The woman visited the gynecologist, but after a while she stopped taking the drugs prescribed to her. It did not work. There was not even a hint of a long-awaited pregnancy. The couple tried all means, ate algae, drank herbal decoctions, tolerated acupuncture, but nothing helped. Friends and family tried to advise the couple not to think about it too much and try to distract from obsessive thoughts. At the same time, the couple felt that it was very important that Andre’s daughter also participated in the planning of a new family, if possible, since it could be her brother or sister.
Ultimately, these concerns led them to the infertility clinics in Kristianstad and Malmö. But all this was more like throwing between hope and despair. And as time went on, the watch was ticking. When Monica was 38 years old, they already knew that society is deeply indifferent to their problems, and they can only rely on themselves, make their own decisions and “pay their own bills”. In addition, after passing a medical screening, they suddenly found out that both had several medical contraindications for a natural pregnancy. Monica was diagnosed with obstruction of the fallopian tubes, which made it impossible to fertilize the egg, and Andre discovered the so-called chromosomal disorder, which also naturally prevented the onset of pregnancy. Health problems were discovered too late. If they were set on time, Swedish healthcare service would not have been able to dismiss citizens so easily. In the end, the couple got a referral to an infertility clinic in Copenhagen. There, Monica's eggs were fertilized with Andre's sperm in the laboratory, and then returned to Monica’s womb. But the only thing the couple brought home from Denmark was a bill of DKK 21,000 per visit.
Months passed, and Monica and Andre continued to look for new opportunities to have their own child. Finally, they realized that the only way to solve this problem is artificial insemination using a donor egg. But in Sweden, this practice is prohibited by law. Spouses studied the possibilities of clinics in Spain and Poland. They read everything that was relevant to the topic, participated in chat rooms and interactive groups about forced infertility, IVF and egg donation.
And in the end, they chose the Scanfert Reproduction Clinic in St. Petersburg, Russia. The clinic is largely focused on residents of Scandinavian countries and offers a guarantee of a refund of 80 percent of the money spent in case of failure of treatment. According to Monica and Andre, the difference is that fresh eggs are grown in the laboratory for five days before the formation of embryos. This method is considered more effective for real pregnancy. During treatment, only one fertilized egg is placed in the woman’s womb. The remaining oocytes are frozen and stored until further use. The price that customers pay for a successful pregnancy and childbirth is 22,000 euros - about 240,000 SEK. The package includes three attempts with donor eggs. It also includes a transfer from the airport to the hotel and a day trip around St. Petersburg. All money must be paid in advance. In order to visit Russia, Monica and Andre were forced to take a loan from a bank. In addition, friends and several companies financially supported them in this intention and collected a total of about 60,000 SEK so that they could start. The couple expects that the final amount, including travel expenses, medications and lost earnings, will be more than 300,000 SEK. But besides this, all that they have so far is the hope that everything will end well and that their expectations will not be disappointed. Representatives of the Russian clinic, who visited Gothenburg to meet with clients, impressed the Swedish couple of professional and reliable specialists. In addition, they carefully read the reviews of several Swedish women - clients of this clinic, who describe their stories, experiences and talk about how, thanks to the efforts of the experienced staff of the Russian clinic, their innermost dream came true. One of these women writes that she churched her child with a second name Olga, in honor of the medical director of the St. Petersburg clinic. Monica and Andre are confident that the advantage of the clinic is a personalized approach to treatment issues.
By that time the couple may have a baby, Monica will be 45, and Andre 48. But this does not give reason to feel too old. “The womb has no age limit. There are many women who have given birth to children at a much older age,” says Monica. "Yes, and a man can make a woman pregnant throughout his life, so why is the age limit," adds Andre. “We came to the conclusion that we feel safe and believe in opportunities. If this fails, we can tell ourselves that at least we did what we could.”
Monica and Andre argue that because of the ban on surrogacy in this prosperous northern country, the Swedes feel cheated. “Why do politicians arrogate to themselves the right to decide for people when and how to have children? This is a question that the citizens themselves have to decide, not the officials. The difficulty of having children is a common disease, every tenth Swedish couple is affected,” they both say at once.
Photo: Denis Sinyakov
Based on Svenska Dagbladet